Recently, I attended a seminar on supporting teenagers with their mental health, identity, and the social pressures they face.
The teenage brain undergoes significant changes during adolescence, as it is still under construction. This development continues into the late 20s. Neural pruning occurs when outdated connections are removed and new pathways are formed. Brain scans show that teenagers are especially sensitive to peer acceptance. The prefrontal cortex—responsible for decision-making—is still developing, which affects their ability to assess risk and make sound judgments. As a result, teenagers are more likely to take greater risks, especially in the presence of friends and peers.
Parents need to allow their children to explore risks in a safe and supportive environment. Making choices and learning from mistakes helps teenagers understand what works and what doesn't. During the teenage years, parents are no longer the primary influence in their children’s lives; attention naturally shifts to their peer group.
It is essential that parents model emotional regulation. Remaining calm during emotional outbursts is critical. When life seems to fall apart for a teenager, and emotions run high, parents play an important role in demonstrating how to respond with composure and empathy.
In society, it is often not acceptable to openly express emotions. However, the family home should be a safe space where teenagers feel comfortable doing so. Parents should allow their children to express emotions—but in healthy ways. During adolescence, hormonal changes are intense, and teenagers often lack the capacity to fully recognise and manage their emotions.
Teenagers frequently don’t know how to cope. Emotional regulation involves more than just turning to a phone or endlessly scrolling through YouTube shorts. Each teenager may find different strategies helpful: some might play music, others may draw, walk, writing in a journal, cycle, have a deep and meaningful conversation, or play sport. Activating these healthy outlets is crucial.
Deep breathing for three to four minutes can help reset the sympathetic nervous system. Humming for five minutes has also been shown to release chemicals like nitric oxide, which promotes a sense of wellbeing.
Emotional regulation looks different for everyone. Parents can help by guiding their children to identify emotions, remain calm, and implement healthy strategies for processing and expressing their feelings.
Journal and reflect on the following
Why is it important for parents to understand that the teenage brain is still developing into the late 20s?
How can parents support healthy risk-taking in teenagers without being overprotective?
What are some practical ways parents can model emotional regulation during moments of teenage distress?
Why might teenagers express emotions more freely at home than in other social settings?
What are some creative or physical activities that can help teenagers regulate their emotions?
How can parents help teenagers recognise and name their emotions instead of reacting impulsively?
In what ways can the family home become a safe space for teenagers to explore identity, make mistakes, and grow emotionally?
Discuss
Song - Imagine Dragons - Demons
Final Prayer
Loving God, We lift up our teenagers to You—young hearts growing, changing, and seeking their place in the world. In moments of confusion, fear, or frustration, may they feel Your steady presence guiding them. Help parents and caregivers to respond with patience, wisdom, and compassion, modelling the calm and grace that teaches by example. May our homes be safe havens where emotions can be expressed, mistakes can be made, and love is always found. Breathe peace into anxious minds, strength into weary souls, and joy into the journey of becoming. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
(Audio Available)
