Relationships

Relationships

Marriage Tuneup - Part 4 - Healing

True healing in marriage extends beyond emotional repair to embrace the whole person, body, mind, heart, and spirit, following Christ's example as an integrated human being. Drawing on the Wedding Feast at Cana and Mary's active, faithful presence at Calvary, this reflection explores four interwoven dimensions of healing: physical (restoring touch and presence), cognitive (releasing false stories in favour of curiosity and shared responsibility), emotional (naming and sitting with pain rather than avoiding it), and spiritual (surrendering the illusion of self-sufficiency and inviting Christ, Mary, and Joseph into the relationship). These dimensions do not heal separately or in order but are woven together, and true restoration comes not through control or ultimatums but through Mary's model of unconditional, faithful love — seeing, trusting, and staying present even without guarantee of outcome. The accompanying Marist Couple Healing Process invites couples to put this reflection into practice through guided, prayerful self-examination, moving them from blame toward vulnerability, honesty, and a shared journey toward deeper unity, grounded in sacrifice and grace.

12 July 2026 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

Marriage Tuneup - Part 3 - Love

Part 3 of the Marriage Tune-Up series turns to love itself - not as a static feeling but as something active that must keep growing, or else quietly fade into imbalance, resentment and distance. Real growth begins with humility: the willingness to face our own blind spots before naming our partner's, and to receive hard feedback (as Dr John Gottman models with his notebook) through reflection rather than reaction. Drawing on the early Marist founders - holy yet unfinished — and on Saint Paul's contrast between the flesh and the Spirit, the entry uses Richard Rohr's idea of the 'false self' to show how the ego we build from our roles, pride and reputation rarely surrenders except through Rohr's two great paths of transformation: great suffering and great love. True love, the kind that lays itself down for another, calls us to let that false self go - but first, many of us need to be healed, which is where Part 4 will lead.

07 July 2026 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

Marriage Tune up - Part 2 - Hospitality

In this second 'Marriage Tune-Up' reflection, Andrew explores hospitality as the doorway through which love, community and the Marist story itself began. Drawing on Mary's visit to Elizabeth and Jesus' first miracle at the wedding of Cana, he shows how welcoming others always starts with noticing a need and answering an invitation — just as Champagnat, Colin, Pompallier and Perroton each responded to a call that gave birth to the Marist family. Hospitality, he reminds us, is real work: the tidying, cooking and gathering that create a space where barriers fall and conversation flows. In marriage and family life this same effort matters, as couples make room to sit together, to truly see one another, and to deepen intimacy through presence and conversation. The invitation continues to turn back to us — who do we welcome, and do we respond? — so that when our years are spent, those who come after us may remember that we, too, were part of their invitation.

06 July 2026 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

A Marriage Tune Up - Part 1 - The Holy Family

Every marriage takes effort, and over the years couples can drift and feel they are growing apart — a marriage, like a car, sometimes needs a tune-up that we cannot manage alone. This reflection reframes marriage as a vocation: the couple marry each other, drawn together by a divine spark that calls them toward a deeper unity mirroring the unity of the Trinity, a unity that still honours their real differences. When selfishness, overwork, lust, or greed pull against that unity, we are invited to recognise the Holy Family in our own home and to welcome Christ - present in the Eucharist and equally in the sacrament of marriage - as the bridge - builder who mends what is broken. And for those who do not yet resonate with this theology, the piece points toward the Marist path: not devotions or rituals, but the practical, down-to-earth call to think, feel, and act as Mary did, each partner faithfully playing their part in the ordinary moments of daily life — the theme the next instalment will explore.

05 July 2026 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

Video - World Day of Peace - Pope Leo - January 2026

In his 2026 World Day of Peace message, Pope Leo reflects on the greeting “Peace be with you” as the living, transformative peace of the risen Christ—a peace that is unarmed, humble, and rooted in God’s unconditional love. He contrasts this peace with the darkness of violence, fear, militarisation, and despair shaping today’s world, criticising the global reliance on weapons, deterrence, and emerging military technologies such as artificial intelligence. The Pope calls Christians and all people of goodwill to protect and live peace as a present reality, not a distant ideal, through nonviolence, dialogue, mercy, and hope. Emphasising inner disarmament of the heart as the foundation for social and political change, he urges religious communities, governments, and civil society to reject the misuse of faith and fear, strengthen diplomacy and international law, and foster justice, trust, and solidarity. Ultimately, the message invites humanity to walk together in the light of the Lord by choosing a “disarming peace” that transforms hearts, relationships, and the world.

25 January 2026 · Pope Leo

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Searching for Meaning - and Vulnerability - a year 9 experiment

This blog reflects on a Year 9 “Searching for Meaning” activity, where a speed-dating style exercise led students to notice how their level of openness changed depending on whom they were speaking to and the risks involved in sharing personal information. Drawing on this insight, Andrew explores how different contexts shape our responses, and how genuine vulnerability—grounded in trust—has the power to deepen relationships even though it can feel risky, like a family “volcano” waiting to erupt. He challenges readers to consider whether keeping the peace by staying silent is really loving, or whether authentic honesty is necessary for true growth in ourselves and our relationships. Through journaling questions, reflective songs, and a closing prayer, the blog invites readers, especially as Christmas approaches, to choose courage, vulnerability, and authenticity over fear and self-protection.

24 November 2025 · Andrew Dumas

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Why I am Marist - Testimonials - from Marist Young Adults - and Marist Young Professionals

The Marist Young Adult and Young Professional community is made up of students, recent graduates, and professionals across the United States who remain deeply connected to the Marist spirit. Members come from a variety of schools, universities, and cities, but share the same commitment to faith, service, and community. Many testify that being part of the Marist family has provided them with a sense of belonging, encouragement, and spiritual foundation that they could not find elsewhere.

28 September 2025 · Marist Evangelization USA

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Midlife Crises and Healthy Families

This video talks about our mid-life crisis and how to move through this with other a partner or significant friend. It then talks about key strategies families can use to be more healthy and balanced as a family.

23 September 2025 · Brene Brown

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Blog - Emotional Regulation

This blog explores the importance of emotional regulation in supporting teenagers through the complex changes of adolescence, including brain development, identity formation, and social pressures. As the teenage brain undergoes neural pruning and the prefrontal cortex matures, teens become more sensitive to peer influence and prone to risky behavior. While parental influence decreases during this stage, parents still play a vital role in modeling emotional regulation, especially during emotional outbursts. The home should be a safe space for teens to express emotions in healthy ways, using strategies such as art, music, sport, deep breathing, or humming to manage stress. Ultimately, helping teens identify and process emotions equips them with lifelong tools for mental wellbeing

26 June 2025 · Andrew Dumas

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Blog – The Greatest Love Begins at Home

Many seek to change the world in big ways, but as Mother Teresa reminds us, it begins with small acts of love at home—caring for our families through presence, sacrifice, and humility. True love is found not in grand gestures, but in the everyday choices to serve, whether it’s changing nappies, listening to teenagers, or supporting aging parents. In each season of life, we are invited to grow in love—fathers and mothers, uncles and aunties, mentors and friends—all are called to show up with grace, especially when it's hard. Love stretches us beyond comfort, invites us into deeper relationship, and ultimately reflects God's compassion. Whether caring for a child or holding the hand of an elderly parent, our most powerful witness is our presence, reminding us that the world changes one small act of love at a time.

21 May 2025 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

Discernment of Attraction

Christopher West begins by addressing a common struggle: how to remain faithful in thought and attitude, not just action, within marriage—especially when physical attraction to others arises. Drawing from St. Augustine, he affirms that pleasure in bodily beauty is not sinful if it leads us to praise the Creator. Beauty in creation awakens a deep longing in us, but it is not meant to satisfy; it points us to something greater—God. This initiates what West calls a “pilgrimage” from finite beauty to infinite Beauty.

18 May 2025 · Christopher West

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Dr. Daniel Amen - on the Number 1 -Foundation to Raising - Mentally Strong Kids

Dr. Daniel Amen emphasizes that raising mentally strong children begins with prioritizing brain health, which he considers foundational to emotional well-being, decision-making, and relationships. By examining over 250,000 brain scans across 155 countries, Dr. Amen has observed that many psychiatric issues stem not from “mental illness” per se, but from underlying brain dysfunction. He argues that when the brain is healthy, people function better mentally, emotionally, and socially. This insight reframes behavioral challenges in children—from impulsivity to aggression—not as character flaws or bad parenting, but as symptoms of a brain that needs healing and support.

18 May 2025 · Dr Daniel Amen

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Steve Biddulph - Raising Boys

Steve Biddulph’s interview on the Understanding Boys podcast reflects on his decades-long work as a psychologist and parenting educator. He begins by discussing the positive evolution in fatherhood—from the distant, disciplinarian fathers of past generations to the more emotionally present and engaged dads of today. His early efforts, especially through books like Raising Boys, sought to encourage men to show affection, drop the stoic facade, and realize their unique and essential role in their children’s emotional development. He celebrates the shift in modern parenting, where fathers are now more involved, hands-on, and willing to express vulnerability, benefiting children's confidence and emotional health.

14 May 2025 · Understanding Boys

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Everyday Life

Cold Play song Everyday life recognises the need to care for each person in the community. In some parts of Africa, this is called Ubuntu.

23 March 2025 · Cold Play

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Paris Je Taime | Paris I Love

Paris, Je T'aime (2006) is an anthology film composed of 18 short segments, each directed by a different filmmaker, set in various neighborhoods (arrondissements) of Paris. The stories explore themes of love, connection, and loss, portraying diverse relationships through encounters between strangers, long-time partners, and families. From a tourist experiencing an unexpected romance to a lonely American woman discovering a new appreciation for life in Paris, each segment captures a unique emotional tone and perspective on love. The film blends various genres. In one of the most poignant segments of Paris, Je T’aime, a man prepares to leave his wife, believing that their marriage has lost its spark. He rehearses his breakup speech, convinced that his love for her has faded, and is ready to move on. However, just as he is about to tell her, she reveals devastating news—she has been diagnosed with leukemia. This revelation abruptly shifts his perspective, as he realizes the depth of his feelings for her and the significance of their shared life.

14 February 2025 · Marist Laity Australia

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The difference between - healthy and unhealthy love - Katie Hood

Katie Hood begins by highlighting the universal experience of love and how, despite its importance, people are rarely taught how to love in a healthy way. Many of us enter friendships, romantic relationships, and even parenthood without guidance, often engaging in or experiencing unhealthy relationship behaviors. These can range from subtle actions like guilt-tripping a friend to more severe forms like emotional abuse and control. The Katie Hood emphasizes that everyone, at some point, will both commit and experience unhealthy behaviors, making it crucial to recognize and address them before they escalate into serious harm, including relationship abuse, which affects a significant portion of the population.

14 February 2025 · Katie Hood

Relationships

Rewiring Negative Self Talk

The presentation starts by illustrating how the mind is a natural storyteller, making connections and creating narratives to understand the world. This is demonstrated through a quirky exercise where the audience is asked to consider how a desk could be the mother of a chair, highlighting the mind's tendency to form stories even in the absence of logical connections.

19 January 2025 · Therapy in a nutshell - Emma McAdama

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Community and Relationships

Marist to me means a big community. It has a lot to do with being together. Relationships are very important. I base a lot of my life and my experiences even with Christ on relationships. Relationships to me are places where I feel I belong where I can connect with others who really care for me and where I care for them. I love to be able to connect with other people and to share many experiences with them. To learn from others. It is important that I am continuing to grow as Marist and as a person in community. I can learn a lot from those people who are around me.

22 December 2024 · Marist Live

Relationships

Emotional Coaching for Teens and Adults

The presentation 'Emotional Coaching for Teens and Young Adults' offers a structured approach for parents to guide their children through emotional challenges, emphasizing connection, empathy, and resilience. Using relatable stories, it outlines five key steps: noticing emotions, clarifying with questions, acknowledging and validating feelings, reflecting and labeling emotions, and providing follow-up support. Grounded in research by experts like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Jessica Borelli, the guide stresses the importance of fostering autonomy and emotional intelligence over offering immediate solutions. The presentation concludes with a prayer, seeking divine guidance for parents in this journey.

08 November 2024 · Marist Laity Australia

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Blog - Tuning Into Teens

The Tuning into Teens parenting course provides valuable insights for parents navigating the shift from guiding young children to supporting teenagers. As children grow, they often 'fire' parents from a managerial role, preferring them as 'consultants' who advise but allow independence. The course explores various parenting styles—Dismissing, Disapproving, Laissez-Faire, and Emotion Coaching—and their effects on children's emotional growth. Emotion Coaching, the preferred style, encourages empathy, validation, and constructive guidance. By focusing on awareness, connection, active listening, and fostering interdependence, parents can build strong, trusting relationships and equip teens with emotional resilience and confidence. Although parents may not always use Emotion Coaching, dedicating even 30-40% of interactions to this approach can positively impact a child's development and well-being.

04 November 2024 · Marist Laity Australia

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The science behind - how parents affect - child development

Yuko Munakata offers an alternative, research-backed reality that highlights how it's just one of many factors that influence the chaotic complexity of childhood development. A rethink for anyone wondering what made them who they are today and what it means to be a good parent.

22 October 2024 · Yuko Munakata

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From a Slap - Domestic Violence

'From A Slap' by Fanpage.it features young boys, aged 7 to 11, who are introduced to a girl named Martina and asked what they like about her. When instructed by the interviewer to slap her, all the boys refuse, with one stating, 'I don't want to hurt her,' and another quoting, 'Girls shouldn't be hit, not even with a flower.' The video aims to highlight the innate moral compass children possess when faced with gender violence, advocating for adults to reflect on their behaviors and encouraging women experiencing domestic violence to find strength in resisting abuse. With over 3.5 million views, the video delivers a powerful message against violence toward women, showing that children naturally choose compassion.

21 October 2024 · Fanpage.it

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Finding your true self - Dr. Tori Olds

Dr. Tori Olds' presentation 'Finding Your True Self' explains how our personalities are made up of different parts that develop to protect us from harm, but these parts can sometimes take over and limit our true potential. Through Internal Family Systems therapy, she discusses how we can 'unblend' from these protective parts to access our 'Big S Self'—our true, core self characterized by qualities like compassion, creativity, and courage. By stepping back from conditioned responses, we can unlock our full cognitive and emotional abilities, allowing us to approach life’s challenges with greater wisdom and contribute positively to the world.

25 August 2024 · Dr Tori Olds

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Even Healthy Couples Fight - the Difference Is How - Julie and John Gottman - TED Video

Julie and John Gottman, founders of the Gottman Institute, have spent their careers studying relationships, discovering that how couples fight, rather than whether they fight, determines long-term success. Their research shows that maintaining a positive-to-negative interaction ratio and focusing on understanding rather than winning during conflicts can strengthen relationships. They identified key negative behaviors, like criticism and stonewalling, that harm relationships, but also found that most conflicts are perpetual and must be managed rather than resolved. By using tools like the 'dreams within conflict' conversation, couples can deepen their understanding of each other, leading to more resilient relationships and contributing to a more peaceful society.

18 August 2024 · Julie and John Gottman

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Intergenerational Healing - What We Carry - for Our Ancestors - Serene Thin Elk

In her TED talk, 'What We Carry for Our Ancestors: Intergenerational Healing,' Serene explores the profound impact of intergenerational trauma, particularly within indigenous communities, and shares personal insights into her journey towards understanding and healing. She discusses how historical oppressions, like the Native American boarding school era, have left deep psychological scars that manifest as internalized and lateral oppression within communities today. Through a personal narrative, including a transformative dream and the story of her late brother's struggles with addiction and trauma, Serene highlights the importance of reconnecting with cultural roots and community practices for healing. She advocates for integrating traditional healing methods with clinical approaches to address the deep-seated pain passed down through generations, ultimately encouraging individuals to confront and transform inherited traumas into a source of strength and renewal

26 May 2024 · Serene Thin Elk

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Foundation to Raising Mentally Strong Kids

The YouTube clip titled 'Foundation to Raising Mentally Strong Kids' discusses the importance of brain health as the basis for mental strength, emphasizing that many mental health issues are fundamentally brain health issues. It highlights the use of brain imaging studies at the Amen Clinics, which reveal insights from over 250,000 scans, to treat children and adolescents. The clip underscores that psychiatric conditions often stem from the brain's health rather than purely psychological origins.

21 April 2024 · Dr. Daniel Amen

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Movie - The Notebook

'The Notebook' is a 2004 romantic drama directed by Nick Cassavetes, based on Nicholas Sparks' novel of the same name. The film stars Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams as the young couple, Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton, alongside James Garner and Gena Rowlands, who portray the couple in their later years. The story is set against the backdrop of the 1940s in South Carolina and spans several decades, exploring themes of love, loss, and the enduring power of memory.

17 March 2024 · The Notebook

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Podcast - The Best Thing for Your Marriage

In the podcast 'The Best Thing for Your Marriage' by Francis and Lisa Chan, part of the Crazy Love series, the Chans discuss the importance of setting one's sights on heavenly rather than earthly treasures to foster a godly marriage. They emphasize the need for husbands to lead their families towards spiritual values and for both partners to remember their purpose and identity in Christ. The core message is that marriage is not about individual desires or gains but about serving Christ and embodying the virtues of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness, as outlined in Colossians 3.

17 March 2024 · Crazy Love

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Think Fast, Talk Smart - Communication Techniques

Matt Abrahams' talk focuses on improving communication skills in spontaneous situations, offering a blend of strategies, activities, and insights to manage anxiety and enhance speaking abilities. He starts by highlighting the challenge of catching attention and maintaining engagement, proposing that effective communication in impromptu settings is achievable through practice.

09 March 2024 · Matt Abrahams

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Screen time - is limiting toddlers speech - and language development

ABC News reported on a study examining the impact of screen time on toddler's speech and language development. Conducted over 2.5 years with 220 Australian households, the research, led by Dr. Mary Bru from the Ton Kids Institute, involved attaching a Fitbit-like device to toddlers and recording 16 hours of audio daily. The findings revealed that the average 3-year-old might miss out on hearing up to 1,100 words, making 840 vocalizations, and participating in nearly two conversations each day due to screen time. This phenomenon, referred to as 'technoference,' suggests that screens are limiting the amount of language, conversation, and connection children experience, which is crucial for early language development. Speech pathologist Katherine McKinley highlighted that approximately 23% of children are behind in language and literacy development by school age. However, the study also suggests that eliminating screen time is not necessary; rather, the focus should be on moderation and selecting educational content to support children's development.

07 March 2024 · ABC News

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How to parent a teen from a teens perspective

A teen’s opinion on parenting from stereotypes and experience. This talk teaches parents about technology, teen emotions, and types of parents, all from a teen’s perspective. Lucy Androski is 13 years old and just completed her 7th-grade year at Okoboji Middle School. As Lucy is our youngest speaker, she has a unique view on parenting teens. She enjoys music, art, and playing tennis. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

01 March 2024 · Lucy Androski - TEDxYouth

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Blog - Transforming Pain

The blog explores the teachings of Franciscan Richard Rohr on the transformation of pain, emphasizing that if we do not transform our pain, we inevitably transmit it. It discusses how pain and suffering manifest in various aspects of life, including parenting, marriage, societal injustice, psychological shadows, and spiritual disconnection. Drawing from Jungian psychology, the blog highlights the importance of acknowledging and transforming our inner traumas to prevent them from surfacing in harmful ways later in life.The blog further explores different methods and examples of transforming pain, such as Van Gogh's art, Dietrich Bonhoeffer's writings, sports for mental health, and the supportive nature of groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. It suggests that spiritual practices, meaningful conversations, and creative expressions can be pathways to dealing with pain and suffering, offering a deeper understanding and acceptance of these experiences as part of the human condition.The narrative also delves into the role of pain in spiritual growth, using the story of Mary's experience of pain and presence during Jesus's crucifixion as a metaphor for being fully present in the face of suffering. It concludes by asserting that pain and suffering, when acknowledged and transformed, can open doorways to divine experiences and personal growth, urging readers to embrace these experiences as opportunities for transformation rather than avoiding them.

18 February 2024 · Marist Laity Australia

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The Power of Connection

Dr. Gabor Maté's lecture 'The Myth of Normal & The Power of Connection' delves into the complex interplay between individual health and societal factors. It underscores the importance of understanding human behavior from a holistic perspective, considering the crucial role of childhood development, societal stress, and emotional connections in shaping mental and physical well-being. The lecture challenges traditional medical dichotomies between mind and body, advocating for a more integrated approach that acknowledges the impact of cultural, racial, and environmental factors. Emphasizing the importance of attachment and connection, it also explores how personal and historical trajectories influence health, advocating for a transformation in health perspectives to include spiritual and ecological dimensions.

28 January 2024 · Dr. Gabor Maté's

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Beyond Tradition - Envisioning a New Sexual Ethic - Bishop Geoffrey Robinson

Bishop Geoffrey Robinson's presentation on sexual morality is a critical examination of the Catholic Church's traditional teachings on the subject, especially in light of the sexual abuse crisis within the Church. He challenges the assertion that every sexual act must be both unitive and procreative to align with God's will, highlighting that this perspective fails to consider the full complexity of human relationships and the individual circumstances that affect moral decisions.

20 January 2024 · Bishop Geoffrey Robinson

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57th World Day of Peace - Pope Francis

In his World Day of Peace message on January 1, Pope Francis addresses the intertwined relationship between technological advancements, particularly artificial intelligence (AI), and the pursuit of global peace and human fraternity. He highlights the potential of science and technology to improve human life and foster peace, while also cautioning against the risks posed by AI, including the threat of exacerbating inequalities, conflicts, and individualism. Emphasizing the importance of ethical responsibility, human oversight, and respect for human dignity in the development and deployment of AI, the Pope calls for a global cooperative effort to ensure that technological progress contributes to the betterment of humanity and the creation of a more equitable, just, and peaceful world.

01 January 2024 · Pope Francis

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The Power of Forgiveness - Anna Ponder

Relationships, especially with family, can provide both great joy and painful sorrow. And often, the relationship between a mother and daughter is the most sensitive. Yet the ability to understand another's point of view, their fragility, and your own perceptions can dramatically improve any relationship. And perhaps the most powerful insight of all is forgiveness. Having the ability to forgive not only others, but the ability to forgive yourself, is one of life's greatest superpowers. Idea: The Power of Forgiveness: Making Waves in Human Interaction by Forgiving and Focusing on the Future.

31 December 2023 · Anna Ponder

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Blog - the dance of Marriage

The blog post uses the wedding at Cana, where Jesus turns water into wine, as an allegory for marriage and personal growth. It suggests that like Mary, who notices a need and invites Jesus to help, we should be aware of what is lacking in our lives and seek assistance from those around us, such as a spouse or others. It challenges the individualistic approach to life and marriage, advocating for teamwork and community support. The post emphasizes that marriage is more than just romance and emotions; it is about making daily choices that shape our lives together. It discusses the need for change and growth within marriage, and the importance of creativity and small gestures to maintain the connection. The narrative stresses that a healthy marriage allows for individual growth and reflects the nature of the divine, suggesting that God is present in the union and that marriage is a dynamic vocation of love, intimacy, and sacrifice.

14 December 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

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Is it okay to have friends with benefits?

When faced with profound questions, Jesus often replied with queries of His own, nudging inquirers to delve deeper into their souls. This method inspires us to ponder the cultural context that breathes life into our questions.

30 November 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

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Blog - The Power of Intergenerational Learning

In an era marked by rapid change and global upheaval, the wisdom from Pope Francis' 2022 message for the 55th World Day of Peace rings with renewed urgency. His call for 'Dialogue Between Generations, Education and Work: Tools for Building Lasting Peace' beckons us to rediscover the transformative power of intergenerational learning—a time-honored bridge to harmony and understanding. In a world grappling with the pandemic's aftermath, the Pope underscores dialogue as the essential path we must tread, avoiding the extremes of apathy and upheaval.

28 November 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

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The Real Risk of Forgiveness - And Why Its Worth It - Sarah Montana

In the TED Talk 'The Real Risk of Forgiveness–And Why It’s Worth It,' Sarah Montana shares her personal journey of grappling with the concept of forgiveness after the murder of her mother and brother. She outlines her struggle to genuinely forgive the perpetrator, a struggle compounded by the societal expectation to quickly forgive. Montana delves into the reasons people forgive, often prematurely, such as to be seen as a good person, to alleviate discomfort for others, or as a perceived shortcut to healing.

26 November 2023 · Sarah Montana

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Forgiving The Unforgivable - Abdallah Family

Leila and Danny Abdallah experienced a profound tragedy on February 1, 2020, when three of their children, Antony (13), Angelina (12), and Sienna (8), along with their cousin Veronique Sakr (11), were killed by a drunk driver. The children, along with other family members, were walking to a local shop to buy ice cream when the accident occurred​​.

26 November 2023 · The Project - Abdallah Family

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How to Forgive People - Bishop Robert Barron

In the YouTube clip 'How to Forgive People' by Bishop Robert Barron, the discussion revolves around the Christian approach to forgiveness. Bishop Barron, drawing from Tim Keller’s article and other sources, highlights several key aspects of forgiveness from a Christian perspective: Forgiveness as a Practice: Forgiveness is emphasized as a set of practices rather than primarily an emotion. It is about doing, not just feeling. Barron agrees with the post-liberal idea that practice precedes emotional changes.

26 November 2023 · Bishop Robert Barron

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Luggage - Forgiveness - Rob Bell

In Rob Bell's Nooma video 'Luggage,' he explores the concept of forgiveness through a series of narratives and reflections. The central theme revolves around how carrying the burden of unforgiveness is like lugging heavy bags throughout life, causing exhaustion and preventing true freedom.

26 November 2023 · Rob Bell

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What Happened to You - Healing From Childhood Trauma - & Becoming Self Aware

The YouTube video titled 'Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Perry ON: Healing From Childhood Trauma & Becoming Self Aware, Confident Adults' is a discussion hosted by Jay Shetty, featuring Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry. The conversation focuses on their book, 'What Happened to You?' and covers various topics related to childhood trauma, healing, and personal growth.

25 November 2023 · Oprah and Dr Perry

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One - U2

'One' by U2 is often interpreted as a song about unity and reconciliation. The lyrics suggest a dialogue between two people who have experienced conflict and are contemplating whether their relationship can be salvaged. The song speaks to the possibility of coming together as 'one' despite differences, but also acknowledges the hurt and bitterness that can keep people apart.

25 November 2023 · Mary J. Blige, U2

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Video - Fratelli Tutti

The YouTube clip 'Fratelli Tutti' features a summary of a letter from Pope Francis titled 'Fratelli Tutti,' which translates to 'Brothers and Sisters All.' In this letter, Pope Francis urges people to come together and build a better world based on fraternal love.

24 November 2023 · Pope Francis

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Blog - Beyond the Mess - Cultivating Collective - Responsibility - in Housekeeping

Maintaining a clean and orderly home is a Herculean task, especially when children are in the mix. Their innate ability to accumulate and scatter possessions is matched only by our own adult tendencies to add to the domestic chaos. This realization often comes into sharp focus when we step into the pristine environment of someone else’s abode, prompting an introspective look at our living spaces.

21 November 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

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Know Your Worth and Where You Belong - Brené Brown

True belonging is about a spiritual practise. It is about an ability to find sacredness in both being a part of something but also the courage to the stand alone. For those of us who have the courage to stand alone especially when we know that we are risking that sense of being a part of something because we disagree and because we have a different opinion, because we love something different. That is the mark of true belonging. The ability to say yes I belong, but also to stand alone when I need to.

08 November 2023 · Brené Brown

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Why Gender Equality Is Good for Everyone - Men Included - Michael Kimmel

In this TED Talk, Michael Kimmel, a sociologist known for his work on masculinity and gender equality, shares a powerful narrative about the invisibility of privilege, particularly as it pertains to race and gender. Kimmel recounts an eye-opening experience where a conversation about race with women of different backgrounds made him realize his own race and gender were invisible to him due to his privilege as a white man. This privilege, he notes, is invisible to those who have it.

05 November 2023 · Michael Kimmel

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A Culture of Care for the Path of Peace

Listen to the audio of Pope Francis' message of Peace for January 2021 entitled 'A Culture of Care for the Path of Peace'.

27 October 2023 · Pope Francis

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Tim Keller and Kathy Keller - on The Christian Marriage

Tim and Kathy Keller discuss the distorted and unreal relationship our culture has with marriage. They break down their talk into three parts. Firstly, they present statistics that reveal the changing landscape of marriage, such as the rising divorce rate and the decrease in the percentage of married adults. They also highlight the increasing prevalence of cohabitation. These statistics reflect underlying assumptions, such as the belief that most marriages are unhappy and the importance of finding a perfectly compatible soul mate.

04 June 2023 · Tim Keller

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5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life

This video discusses the four traditional styles of parenting: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and neglectful. Each style is characterized by different approaches to control, warmth, and responsiveness. The effects of these parenting styles on children's development are explored through the lives of four fictional children.

03 June 2023 · Sprouts

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Blog - Men are called to be emotionally involved.

Yesterday was the first day back for one of my sons to school. He did not want to get out of bed at 7.15 am to prepare for school. Part of me wanted to get angry with for not doing what I wanted and thus force him to get moving. Part of me thought “this is not the best way to start the year with anger”. Next to his bed where he still lay I started doing a whole series of sit ups, push ups and leg crunches. Hoping that this energy would motivate him to start moving. This did not work. As he is smaller than I, I grabbed him like a puppet and walked him to in front of the mirror of the bathroom. I started to sing a song which I made up on the spot “Let’s get going and start the day. It’s time to go to school and start the day”. At the same time, I started dancing with him. Moving his arms up and down and outwards. Despite him feeling tired and not wanting to move. It was a silly song, but soon the negative emotions started to melt away. Humour. Suddenly giggles and laughter appeared. Within about 3 to 4 minutes of singing and dancing my son was ready to get ready for school. There was something about the human contact and humour I had with him which changed everything.

05 February 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

VBlog - Getting your Skin Checked Out - Life is Difficult

This morning my son and I had an appointment with the skin doctor. It is important to regularly get your skin checked out. My son was very resistant saying “no I do not want to see the doctor”. He stayed in bed arguing. I said to him that it is important to get your skin checked out regularly. He ignored me. I then said “Life is hard. Once you accept that life is difficult you are more able to move through it”. This reminded me of the opening pages of Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Travelled.

21 January 2023 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Audio - Raising Teens - The importance of touch

In 2020 it was a difficult year for many people. Shaking hands, a peck on the cheek suddenly became weird. For tactile people this would have been really difficult. Many teens are very tactile. You walk into a school playground in a high school you see girls hugging and guys fist pumping. Lots of physicality but then they were told, sorry no, 1.5 metres apart. You cannot even sit near each other in school assemblies.

21 January 2023 · 1032 - Collet Smart

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Aboriginal Spirituality

Father Paul Sullivan sm, Director of Marist Mission Centre, has worked for many years with the Indigenous People of Australia.  He recently gave some input to our Marist Commission for Inter-Religious Dialogue.

16 January 2023 · Fr Paul Sullivan sm

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56th World Day of Peace - Pope Francis

No one can be saved alone.Combatting Covid-19 together, embarking together on paths of peace.

16 January 2023 · Pope Francis

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The Secret of Successful Relationships of Rupture and Repair

Many tensions within a relationships can be looked at within a concept used within psychotherapy. The idea of rupture and repair. For psychotherapists every moment can be a moment of frustration or rupture. When we suffer a loss of trust within another person in someone we can safely deposit our love and where we believe who can be kind and understanding of our needs. The ruptures can be quite small and the outside observers and outside observers see them as imperceptible.

04 January 2023 · School of Life

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Dolph Lundgren On healing and forgiveness

I would like to tell you a story of a little boy in Sweden. That boy was me. My dad hit me. I walked in front of the TV and dad hit me. When you get abuse at home you have 2 choices. Fight or flight. But, I learnt later there is a third choice. You freeze. By the time I was 11 or 12 I was drinking. My dad sent me to live with my grandparents. They talk care of me.

31 December 2022 · TED - Dolph Lundgren

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Story - Falling down the stairs

About ten years ago I was invited to dinner by a familyin Cincinnati (it's always nice to invite the pastor). This niceItalian family had three charming children. The youngestwas named Christopher; he had big brown eyes, and hehad just learned to run. After dinner he ran through theliving room and fell down the stairs. But we didn't heara sound or any crying, so we were very worried becausewe didn't know whether he had injured himself.

29 December 2022 · Father Richard Rohr

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How to deal with siblings who fight

Sibling rivalry is normal. When we are stuck at home with lock down. Is there a Silver bullet? No. Children often do not have the language skills or emotional intelligence to deal with this. How can we deal with children fighting? What are the top tips to deal with children fighting?

24 December 2022 · ABC - Maggie Dent

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Managing social anxiety at Christmas

Social anxiety at Christmas time. There can be a lot of build up. We need to manage expectations at this time. Make people aware. Christmas is a lot about expectations. Like what are the presents? We need to let people know ahead of time. In the social environment some move into become over functioning and take over. Whilst others under functioning where you with-drawl and move away. Christmas can be a drowning time. It is okay for people to step away. To self sooth. We don't need to do the same thing at the same time.

24 December 2022 · ABC - Sue Read

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VBlog - The Burden of Christmas

This video explores the burden often placed on parents to prepare for Christmas and how families can think a little bit differently to prepare.

20 December 2022 · Marist Laity Australia

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The Art of Marriage

Everyone is aware that there is a crisis in marriage and family life, and no one knows what to do about it. Some people see that crisis only too clearly as the marriages of their children and their friends break down. It is clear in the abundance of one-parent families, and in the prevalence of divorce, ill-health, depression and suicide. Neither the Church nor the wider society seems to know what to do about this crisis.

02 December 2022 · Jack Dominian

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How To Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Just for a moment I want you to imagine that you are 4 years old. You are on the ground building a tower. In the next minute a kid comes running along and kicks over your tower and you are outranged. You feel these feelings bubbling inside of you of hurt, panic and frustration and helplessness. Just in that moment an adult comes in. Gets up close and says “Honey. What happened?” You see in their eyes there is compassion. You feel that their body is calm and regularity. All those feelings come bubbling out. Frustration. The anger. The helplessness. This out goes “oww…yeah….tell me all about it”. They do not fix it. They do not say to you “don’t worry you can build another one”. They just let you feel all that you are feeling. They open their arms. You snuggle in. And you feel better….then you can get back to building your tower.

29 October 2022 · TED - Lael Stone

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Audio - The Courage to Be Vulnerable

In a cultural where we like to fix or prevent vulnerability Brené Brown is reviving the notion that our struggles make us who we are. This is based on data and scientific research first into shame and then into qualities that distinguish lives with a strong sense of worthiness. There is a gulf between what we want to be true and what is true in vulnerability between men and women. She talks about the difference between making our children happy and raising engaged human beings.

27 October 2022 · Brené Brown

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Social Justice Statement 2022 - Respect, Confronting Violence and Abuse

Domestic and family violence and abuse are a plague on our society. Far too many people do not feel safe in their own homes. And really, the time has come for this to stop. Our relationships should be marked by equality and reciprocity, rather than dominion and violence, respect and freedom, rather than coercion and control. Far too often, some use false religious teachings or beliefs, to justify these destructive attitudes and behaviours.

21 October 2022 · Australian Catholic Bishops Conference

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Song - Heal The World - Music Travel Love

Heal the world. Make it a better place. For you and for me, and the entire human race. There are people dying. If you care enough for the living. Make a better place for you and for me

17 October 2022 · Music Travel Love

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Leadership Lessons from Pope Francis

A few years ago a public relations firm asked people if they had a great deal of confidence of leaders in certain sectors of society. The 2007 survey focused on confidence. The results found confidence in political leaders (10%), business leaders (15%), education leaders (20%), and religious leaders (20%). What are some names of some quality leaders? What qualities of attributes are there in a good leader?

16 July 2022 · Chris Lowney

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Be realistic about what happiness is

Be realistic of what happiness is. In the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable we come to understand that here, in this life, all symphonies remain unfinished.

12 July 2022 · Karl Rahner

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6 Ways to Process your Feelings in Writing

I am going to teach you another way to process emotions. This is a powerful way to process all the jumble of emotions that are all up in your head. Therapists have this phrase 'make the implicit explicit'. You might think you are doing something wrong. But what the academics are saying take something inside your head and to make it clear. Solid. External. Something you can physically touch almost. One thing that is common among all therapy is making the implicit explicit. Taking the vague and making it solid. This is an effective way to solve problems. To resolve internal conflicts and too sooth painful emotions.

10 July 2022 · Therapy in a Nutshell

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Teens, smartphones and how to get it right

Teenagers love their phones. All day. Every day. Even at night. And while there are lots of really great things about smartphones, there are so many pitfalls — strangers, bullying, porn, sexting. How do you guide your teenager's digital life? Find out when Maggie Dent talks with Dr Ginni Mansberg, GP and co-author of The New Teen Age, a book which looks at what teenagers are up against on their devices.

03 July 2022 · ABC - Maggie Dent

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Steve Biddulph and the lightbulb moment

Steve Biddulph likes to remind us that humans are 'big sensitive mammals' with needs for connection and self awareness.

03 July 2022 · Steve Biddulph

Relationships

Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

Many people after they have been in a couple for some time will privately admit that they are frustrated and disappointed with the person they have chosen to share their lives with. If pressed for details they will have no problem coming up with a list. Their partner they might complain is to loyal to their irritating family or does not share their views on the lay out of the living room. Or, never wants to go on camping holidays. Or, plays tennis every Wednesday evening no matter what. Or does not like Moroccan food. Or, does not share their enthusiasm for 19th century novels. Or, has a habit of adding the word “Actually” to ever second sentence when it's “actually” redundant.

18 June 2022 · The School of Life

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How to Get in Touch With Your Feelings... and Why It Matters

Many of our sensations are like bells which may not have no solid hard wire back to our consciousness. They ring at a peculiar frequency that is not picked up by our minds when these have been attuned incorrectly. This may for example, happen around tiredness. Our body may have growth extremely weary over many years, but consciousness may not be simply interested because it has been calibrated only to an agenda which sets store by a fast paced pursuit of status and money.

18 June 2022 · School of Life

Relationships

Blog - what advice would you give married couples?

About 6 weeks ago my seven year old son had COVID. I woke at 2 am in the morning to the words “I cannot breathe”, “I cannot breathe”, I cannot breathe”. Racing to my son’s bed I smacked his back to help clear the flem which was preventing him breathing. The flem cleared and he began to throw up. He was sweating.

19 April 2022 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Blog - How do we taste God?

A house builder does not start with the roof or the tiles. Our relationship with God are within stages like a builder building a house. You need to start with a foundation. The beginning stages is the laying of the cement. There is a natural beginning when we draw upon the natural elements and building blocks of our own lives. God speaks to us most fully through our own life experience.

12 April 2022 · Marist Laity Australia

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Blog - My children asked what is inflation?

In Australia the price of living is going up sharply. The cost of vegetables seems to have doubled or tripled. The price of fuel has never been this high. I said at the dinner table last night “inflation is increasing”. My children responded, “what is inflation?” They have never experienced inflation in their lifetimes. My ego and mind immediately thought “how do we make more money to get by?”

16 March 2022 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Why You Should Have Children

Kids have a bad wrap today. Very rarely do you see kids portrayed well in films. You see this in Harry Potter they are portrayed positively. Kids have a sense of human from a young age. They are really playful. Kids can have the kind of relationship you set out to have. Sometimes it is more enjoyable to do things with little kids than you can with adults. The older you get what you see of the world is your memory. Artists help us break through this. The thing which is cool about having a little kid is that the kid revitalises the world. Kids bring things to life.

13 March 2022 · Jordan B Peterson

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Blog - Teaching our children to walk through the desert of prayer

During Lent we are called to follow Jesus’ last moments of his life. Often the last moments of a person’s life can be quite difficult. This can be like a desert. Prayer helps prepare us for this moment. It connects us to God and raises our minds beyond what we can see to a deeper reality.

03 March 2022 · Andrew Dumas

Relationships

Love Interpreted

Love, Interpreted explores the different aspects of love, sex, and relationships within a college setting. It dives into important social issues such as sexual assault on campus, how diversity affects these aspects on campus, and the LGBTQ+ presence and history on campus.The Marist Circle interviewed over 25 people and couples for this initiative, and were met with outstanding support and enthusiasm, garnering incredible insights into student's personal experiences.

13 February 2022 · Marist Circle

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Leaders change the way we see things

Why do we give? What happens if we change the question? Not about 'me'. Not 'Please help' but rather 'in the next 2 weeks, 'if you only give once a month, please think of me next time'. This has nothing to do with the taker, but rather the giver.

29 November 2021 · Simon Sinek

Relationships

Find a new way to love

As a married man, forgiveness to has been one of the keys of keeping my relationship with my wife together. There have been many times when we have fought with one another and listened to one another about hurts and a lack of awareness or will. There have been countless occasions where I or my wife have had tear filled eyes. And the words “I am sorry” are spoken.

19 November 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

We must learn humility

Our Western culture has a different way - the perfection game. Where we want to climb the ladder of success all the time. We celebrate our successes and ignore our failures. We have turned religion into this? What are you doing right? What are you doing wrong? Is life all about image? Is life all about achieving an honour point system? How many points have you scored?

02 November 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

How should parents teach their children about sex and sexuality?

In Western culture there is a conundrum. By late teens or early young adulthood when a person is becoming more sexually active the question arises “how do we teach our children about sex and sexuality?” This question, may have been ignored by the parent as the child has grown through childhood and teenage years. The parent may seem lost in an array of questions such as “What do I teach my child?”

17 October 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

award for powerful 1 minute film about marriage

Beautiful Iranian short film 1 minute Award winning winner of film festival. The powerful short movie depicts an older married couple reciting the Poem of Hafez to one another in the car, when they stop at a red light and notice a couple fighting loudly with their young daughter in the back seat. The older couple make a gesture that says a lot about their own marriage, and about how married love can help reconcile and restore others around us.

14 August 2021 · Barr Pictures Media

Relationships

Having fun with our children

My children have been on school holidays. Always, entertaining kids can be quite difficult. Take yesterday. My wife had to work leaving me, dad, to look after the kids. We had planned to go to the skate park.

01 August 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Why do people become bad parents?

Given how important to be properly loved by one’s parents in order to have an emotional sane grown up life. One may wonder with some urgency why in cases which range from the regrettable to the truly tragic. The process can go so wrong. Why do some parents who might be in some areas descent and thoughtful characters, fail so badly to love the people they have brought into the world?

01 August 2021 · School of life

Relationships

A Test to Judge How Good Your Parents Were

Strangely and awkwardly no human being can ever grow up sane. Unless it has been loved very deeply by somebody else for a number of years in its early life. But, we are still learning what good parenting might actually be like. How good were yours? Here are 8 rules that you might use to grade them.

30 June 2021 · School of Life

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Marist Conversations - Episode 1

Marist Young Adults from Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York talk with Bro. Michael Flanigan from Marist College in Poughkeepsie, NY. Their conversation is about Marcellin Champagnat's experience starting the Marist Brothers as a young adult and how that connects to our Marist Community today. The conversation took place at the Marist Brothers Center at Esopus, NY during the Fall 2019 Lavalla Weekend Experience.

27 June 2021 · Marist Youth and Young Adults USA

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A Christian Response to Anxiety

Break down the stigma of anxiety by watching this video as a family or community. Discuss. Lift the lid on the issue.

13 June 2021 · Dr Katherine Thompson

Relationships

Building healthy relationship in our Teenagers

Last week I attended a free seminar on “Building healthy relationships in our Teenagers” that my local council hosted. It focused heavily on the role that parents play in raising their children. The first speaker, clinical psychologist Colleen Hirst, said that teenagers need to develop skills to leave the nest or to leave the home. But in our modern culture the parent relationship has often changed to one of embarrassment.

01 June 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Song - God is Love

How great this love. Oh, it's moving all my mountains. It's perfect love. It's casting out my fear. How great this love. Oh, it welcomes me like family. And anywhere I go. It meets me there

29 May 2021 · Chris Renzema

Relationships

Parenting for British Girls

We are very worried about British girls. They have a 1 in 3 chance of being treated for anxiety and depression. 1 in 12 chance of an eating disorder. What we think it is that the entire country got too busy. You have the longest working hours in Europe.

17 April 2021 · Steve Biddulph

Relationships

Book - The 10 things our girls need most

By Steve Biddulph. Nearly 20 years ago, in what would become a landmark piece of research into the way men and women look at themselves, researchers had a series of American college students go into a dressing room, get changed into a swimsuit, and take a maths test

17 April 2021 · Steve Biddulph

Relationships

Why 80% of relationships do not last

“Man’s search for meaning” by Victor Frankl. In World War II Victor Frankl is in the concentration camp he tries to have a little notebook in which he writes his scientific research. The book is the proof of his existence. At one point he loses the book. He releases all traces that he has ever been may forever be gone. He does develop the notion of Logotherapy.

06 April 2021 · Esther Perel & Lewis Howes

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The Conscious Parent with Shefali Tsabary

Life’s essential questions first get asked and answered in childhood. Our children pay attention not so much to what our children can verbally tell them. So, we can package the perfect answer. They are barely paying attention to that. Instead, they are absorbing on a deep level. How it is that we embody and live these answers.

05 April 2021 · Shefali Tsabary

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Event - Rosemarys Way Screening - April 24

I am wanting to let you know about the screening of a wonderful documentary, Rosemary's Way. You will find details of the screenings at Randwick, Shellharbour and Campbelltown in April and a TBA screening at Parramatta Riverside Theatre in May.

05 April 2021 · Rosemary Kariuki

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Why Parenting Is Not About Raising a Happy Child

This is a myth parenting is about raising a happy child. I think that everybody thinks this. Why is this a myth? Because our children do not need to become happy. Life is not about happy happy anyway. Life is to be experienced in every nuance as it presents itself in the as is. Engagement with life to me is happiness and pure joy. Engage with it fully.

25 March 2021 · Dr Shefali

Relationships

The Myth of Unconditional Love

When we say we want #unconditional​ #love​, what we really mean is that we want an unconditional relationship. We want a #relationship​ with no consequences. We want a relationship where no matter what we do or don’t do, the other person will continue to value us and appreciate us to the degree that they will feel good towards us and never ever get into conflict suffering with us or want to leave us. Sit with this for a minute.

20 March 2021 · Teal Swan

Relationships

People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story

By Brene Brown. We share our shame story with the wrong person, they can become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm. We want solid connection in a situation like this. Something akin to a sturdy tree.

02 March 2021 · Brene Brown

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Is the Western way of raising kids weird

From sleeping in separate beds to their children to transporting them in prams, Western parents have some unusual ideas about how to raise them.

25 February 2021 · Kelly Oakes

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In the Blink of an Eye

A group of seven carefree siblings and cousins, enjoying a moment of childhood independence as they walked to get an ice cream from the shops on a hot Australian summer evening. Then - without warning - the unthinkable.

30 January 2021 · Seven News

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Reflective Listening

Reflective listening is the ability to bounce back at them what they are saying. This is a skill that does not come naturally to us. When involved in a conversation we tend to talk about ourselves, or give advice, we try to make them feel better or agree or disagree or tell stories.

30 January 2021 · Therapy in a nutshell

Relationships

Retreat in your life for Couples

Often couples do not set aside time for their own formation. Formation as a couple is important. Both spiritually and other areas of life such as sport and socially. Often work and the pressures of family take precedence and couples loose vital formation with each other. Here is a 7-day formation program for couples entitled “Retreat in your life for couples”.

12 January 2021 · Marist Laity Australia

Relationships

Breakthrough Film

Breakthrough is a beautiful film of a mother’s faith to achieve the impossible. When her son fell through the ice, the mother’s love caused her to hope for extra-ordinary.

04 January 2021 · Breakthrough film

Relationships

The Family Man

Jack is a 40-year-old mega rich entrepreneur who has everything. Women, cars, money. Or at least he thinks he has everything. After risking his life to save a man held up in a store robbery, an angel, Cash, appears to him and offers him a glimpse of an alternate life. What would happen if Jack chose not to become a mega rich entrepreneur, but instead chose to get married and have children? To live a much simpler lifestyle. Not in a million-dollar apartment in the city, but in a family house in the country.

29 December 2020 · Movie – Family Man (2000)

Relationships

The Science of Love

Research shows that greater friendships and love relationships lead to “Greater Health”, “Greater Wealth”, “Greater Resilience”, “Faster Recovery from illness”, “Greater Longevity” and “More successful children”.

27 December 2020 · John Gottoman